Simone Biles has shared the emotional toll that the Tokyo Olympics had on her.
While appearing on Wednesday’s episode of podcast Call Her Daddy, the athlete opened up about her mental state during her vault performance, where she got the twisties—a term for when gymnasts lose their perceptual awareness of their body’s position while spinning in the air.
“We already knew my gymnastics was janky, like, in training I was having twisties already,” recalled Biles. “But [at the moment], I’m trying to push past that and I would literally tell my teammates, ‘I’m fighting demons right now but I’m going to do it for you guys.'”
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She explained that she felt like she was “fighting” her body and mind to perform the tricks and tried out some alternate maneuvers while practicing but was still not feeling certain about how her Olympics competition would go.
She recalled second guessing herself during her performance, saying she “didn’t know how many twists I was going to make.” Biles then noted that she “couldn’t twist anymore” because it was as if “your body and your brain have no idea where you are.”
Once she realized she had the twisties, Biles became extremely disappointed in herself. “If I could’ve gotten on a plane [and] flown home, I would’ve done it,” she said. “But as soon as I landed [on the mat], I was like, ‘Oh, America hates me. The world is going to hate me and I can only see what they’re saying on Twitter right now.'”
When host Alex Cooper pointed out that the reactions are as if Biles “let the country down,” the gymnast replied, “I thought I was going to be banned from America. Because that’s what they tell you, ‘Don’t come back if it’s not gold.'”
Following the Tokyo Olympics, Biles took a two-year break from competition before returning to the sport in 2023 to compete in the Gymnastics Championships, where she won gold and became the most decorated gymnast in history. It has not been confirmed yet whether Biles will compete in the 2024 Paris Olympics.
